In mathematics, there are two axes. The Cartesian plane uses the variables x and y to denote them. They can be used to quantify and visualise the magnitude(s) of quantities. However, around the 18th century, Isaac Newton invented calculus, and hence the "imaginary" plane. Quantifying values so absurd that they cant exist in reality. The thing I speak of says otherwise. Normally, these quantities can be measured along axes, say the first one along x and the second along y. The quantities I want to measure are "stupidity" and "irony". Like all quantities, these values can possess negative and positive magnitudes. For example, negative irony and stupidity would be a qualified human being teaching in an educational institute. Positive irony and stupidity would be professional eating. In mathematics, we call these correlated values as sectors. Both positive lies the 1st quadrant, and both negative in the 3rd.

The thing we wish to plot on our amazing graph can be theoretically plotted on this graph, but it would be redundant to do so. The point of a graph is to be able to visually compare values plotted, but the magnitude I wish to enumerate is so absurdly high, the scale would make any comparisons too puny in size to be visible. Delusionals and mad scientists have invented numbers like the googol, and even worse a googolplex. Estimates say that in a googolplex metre universe, travelling far enough you could find doppelgangers of yourself. But even then, you will never be able to quantify or seek out a duplicate of the specimen I speak of. Its irony and stupidity surpass the absurdness of numbers, the stretches of time and the reaches of the universe. One may even call it imaginary.

Yet such a thing does indeed exist, in corporeal form. It's appalling that a simple arrangement of electrons and protons, neutrons and quarks, could actually encompass such a quantity. The mere existence of this thing is bamboozling, anomalous to the universe which follows the laws of mathematics and physics. It is indefinitely large and unarguable for.

Yet it exists. In the universe’s confines, such a thing manages to sustain itself. It’s not decaying like a radioactive nucleus, rather growing if such a thing is possible to imagine. Plotting it on the imaginary plane would make sense, but the word imaginary does not do our value justice. Rather we need a new name for it, a unit of measurement. I’d argue we even need it as an SI unit; I would recommend “tal{}”.